Everyday Wonder Women
Each week, I sit down with a woman you probably never heard of before—but trust me, by the end, you’ll be so glad you did. This is where we get real about the tough stuff women go through, the grit it takes to get through it, and the lessons they pick up along the way. It’s honest, inspiring, and full of stories you won’t forget.
Everyday Wonder Women
Episode 1: My Mom’s take on building confidence at work
Lynn Santi never planned to become a trailblazer. Starting as a stenographer at the Santa Fe Railroad in the 1960s, she entered a world where women were exclusively secretaries in the "lower part of the pecking order." Fast forward through a 38-year career, and Lynn had risen to Director of Administration, overseeing operations across New Mexico, Arizona, and parts of Texas—a journey marked by determination, directness, and defying expectations.
"It wouldn't be odd to be in a meeting of 150 men with only two women," Lynn recalls, describing how male colleagues "tend to not think you had the same level of expertise." Yet her organizational talents and work ethic gradually earned recognition, particularly when she orchestrated the consolidation of railroad offices across multiple states. When a male colleague attempted to bully her early in her management role, Lynn's unforgettable response—"This isn't Little League, you're not the umpire. Sit down and shut up"—became legendary throughout the company and established her authority in a single moment.
Lynn's personal story proves equally compelling. Adopted at three days old, she grew up feeling specially selected: "My mother wanted me enough that she prayed and prayed till I was a special present to her." This perspective shaped her identity and likely contributed to her drive for achievement. At 19, Lynn experienced devastating loss when her mother died suddenly at 51, forcing her to rebuild her life's foundation at a pivotal moment. These personal challenges forged in her the resilience needed to later break gender barriers professionally.
For women navigating male-dominated spaces today, Lynn offers wisdom distilled from decades of experience: "Don't think about what you're not doing. Think about what you have done." Her story reminds us that confidence emerges not before challenges but through facing them—by working hard, showing up consistently, and gradually learning to believe in yourself even when you're charting unexplored territory. Ready to hear more stories of resilience and courage? Subscribe to Everyday Wonder Women for conversations with remarkable women overcoming extraordinary obstacles.
Welcome to the podcast Everyday Wonder Women. I'm your host, Stacee Santi Longfellow, a veterinarian, an entrepreneur and the author of the book "Stop Acting Like a Girl. In each episode, you'll meet an amazing woman that you might not know yet, but by the end, trust me, you'll be so glad you did. These are stories of grit, courage and resilience Women who face tough challenges and come out stronger on the other side. I'm so glad you're here. Stick around and let's get into the interview.
Me (Stacee):So the first guest we've got on the show is actually someone I have followed for a long time. She's one of my favorite people. It's my own Lynn Santi, . She's been an inspiration to me and everyone in our family, and she's got a lot of good tips to share, so I thought she'd be the perfect first guest In this episode. We're going to be dealing with things like loss of a parent at an early age, adoption and being one of the first females in leadership for the railroad. I'm so excited for you to meet my mom. Here we go. Well, you're my first podcast interviewee. How do you feel about that?
Mom:Well, I should be the first, since I'm the first one you ever saw in your life.
Me (Stacee):Yeah, that's a good point. Well, tell everybody a little bit about your bio, like kind of the short version of who you are.
Mom:My name is Lynn Santi, the mother of Stacee Santi Longfellow. I have another child, Timothy Santi. I'm 77 years old. I've been married to the same man for 57 years, meaning I got married when I was 19. I was raised in the 60s, so I have a whole different view of life than people in your generation. In fact, you feel differently about life when there's more behind you than ahead of you and I've had really, compared to your life and other people your age a pretty boring life. I raised my family, had a job, retired and moved to Arizona.
Me (Stacee):And where did you work for all of your life, I guess?
Mom:Well, first of all, I never really wanted a job, I just wanted to be a stay at home mom and my goal was four kids, a two-story house and a station wagon. And I reached none of those three goals. Why'd you have that goal, I don't know. I was a 60s girl. We weren't. You know, that was our view. We weren't. An education wasn't as important as it is to your generation. But I was raised in.
Mom:I was born in Albuquerque, New Mexico, moved to Clovis, New Mexico, the eastern part of the state, when I was 10 and stayed there until my job moved me back and forth to Albuquerque, to Clovis, and I retired in 2007. My first job was assistant bookkeeper when I was a senior, because I had my driver's license and I needed gas money. So I worked at Big- O Tires helping the bookkeeper post entries. As you know, that was pre-computer, so we had to take every receipt and record it in a ledger and I loved bookkeeping, so that was a good job. I liked it.
Mom:After that, I worked at the First Baptist Church for a year and a half and then I worked at Merle Norman Cosmetics, which you still use, which I still use. Since I was in the ninth grade, I've used the same cosmetics. But anyway, when I was I guess I was probably 21 when I heard they were hiring at what was known as the Santa Fe Railroad, then Atchison, Topeka and Santa Fe. So I got a job as a stenographer and I thought it was temporary and I ended up working there for 38 years.
Me (Stacee):And did you just walk in and apply?
Mom:Well, your father's aunt, Thelma, worked there and she told me they were hiring stenographers. That means you had to know shorthand and typing. How did you know that? How did I know shorthand in typing? How'd you know that? How did I know shorthand?
Mom:I took it and caught in high school high school yeah, they taught shorthand and typing in high school then, and I just the girls I don't remember any guys learning it but shorthand was a talent you either could or couldn't do, it wasn't it? You couldn't learn it if you didn't have some kind of natural skill. I never could figure that out, but for some reason I was very good at shorthand so I could take it really fast. And that's what they were looking for, because they needed somebody that could what court reporters do now with a machine. We did in a little notebook where you wrote down what they said and then typed it up.
Me (Stacee):Yeah, I remember watching you do it. It looks like you're scribbling.
Mom:Yeah, but it meant something. Shorthand has it's phonics, so you can you make symbols for phonics.
Me (Stacee):So how was it your first year at your job? Were you one of the only women there?
Mom:No, there was a lot of secretaries there, but I didn't really want to work there because it was so intimidating. I knew nothing about railroading. My first job was working in what's called the chief dispatcher's office. You weren't even born, so I was very young. They yelled and screamed at people and I was so afraid the guy was going to yell at me that I overworked and he couldn't remember my name. So he called me Sister and he'd say, sister, you got your work done? And I'd just say yes. He'd say, well, can't you find something to do? And I had it all done because I was so nervous. And he said, well, sister, address envelope. So I started and I must have had a stack that high. And he turned around and he said, sister, stop.
Me (Stacee):Did you think about telling him your name?
Mom:I think he couldn't remember it. He called me sister the whole time. That is so weird, so I must have been 20. But that was back in the day when the supervisors were allowed to scream and yell and cuss at people, which he never spoke harsh to me, but I was so afraid he would that I developed this overachievement so that he wouldn't be displeased with me. And then I transferred to another department and it found the same thing it was mainly men. And then I transferred to another department and it found the same thing it was mainly men. Women were only secretaries and were kind of the lower part of the pecking order.
Mom:So how did you climb up? Well, I had an ability that I didn't. I mean, I'm an organized person and it helped me organize things at the railroad. And they seemed to think that was necessary, because in 1988, we consolidated offices from Clovis and Winslow, amarillo, la Jolla, colorado, into an Albuquerque office and I was able to organize all of that and it kind of I mean it kind of focused on what I could do and kind of helped him see that I was able to do more than just take notes in a notebook.
Me (Stacee):And what was the highest rank you achieved?
Mom:Oh, when I well, I went into management and was promoted to management, and I was promoted to management in I can't remember 1993. 1993, and I retired as director of administration, meaning that I had responsibility administratively for all of New Mexico, all of Arizona, El Paso and a little bit over into Texas.
Me (Stacee):I have to be honest and tell you I had no idea you were doing all this. I was growing up.
Mom:What did you think I was doing? Just going down there and sitting in a chair in an office.
Me (Stacee):Yeah, I have no idea what I thought you were doing. I guess I was more focused on me than you.
Mom:I didn't have the job that had as much requirements of my time when you were growing up. That wasn't until after you graduated was when I was promoted. But I had a real I guess it was just a secretarial job when you were home, so there wasn't much for you to notice.
Me (Stacee):What was the most challenging part of your time, your professional life?
Mom:Being the only one of the few women supervisors in a man supervisor industry. Women supervisors in a man supervisor industry and the men looking at me and never believing I was more than a secretary they couldn't see a woman in a supervisory role. There were a few train masters, dispatchers, and they had the same thing, because it wouldn't be odd to be in a meeting of 150 men with only two women.
Me (Stacee):And would they talk to you differently?
Mom:Yes, they tend to not think you had the same level of expertise of a man in your same job. In 1995, the Santa Fe Railroad merged with the Burlington Northern and became the BNSF Railway. Their people on the same job were men and then on the former Santa Fe there was probably 50% women, 50% men. So they bumped all the women up to the same level as the men and that did give us a leg up into the management position and it was a nice feel to have the same job with a better title and more money.
Me (Stacee):What is one of your memories of a difficult conversation with a male employee, or where you had to really flex and own the stage, so to speak, because they didn't believe in you?
Mom:Well, right after I went into management, there was this guy that we won't say names, but he had been. You can say his name. No, he had been my son, your brother's little league umpire.
Mom:Oh I know who it is. So I was trying to score keep, as several of the mothers were, and he was really abusive and he would yell and scream if we didn't get everything done just right. So he came into my office and I wish I could thank him for this, really. But he came into my office and started doing that bullying, yelling, Like what? What was he saying? Telling me what was going to happen and what wasn't going to happen, and what he was going to do and what he wasn't going to do. And you were technically in charge of him.
Mom:No, I was technically in a role that was a supervisory role, which you don't do. That he wouldn't have done it to a man sitting in a chair. So I turned around to him and I called him by his name. I said this isn't Little League, you're not the umpire. You sit down and shut up. And he did, and soon that spread all around and so everybody started thinking that maybe they should pay attention to what I was saying. I never had to be mean again. He took care of that for me. Oh my gosh, that's funny, but it got to be quite a joke around the railroad that how I, how I, did that, cause he was, he was a dominant personality. Oh yeah, he was an asshole.
Mom:I know, delete that.
Me (Stacee):So this is funny I was only recently thinking about it that in almost all of my employee reviews I was, over the years, probably my worst and maybe best quality simultaneously has been. People say I'm very direct and I'm, I wouldn't say curt, but I'm to the point. Do you think I got that from you? Absolutely, I think you're the one. Absolutely, you parented us very directly. There wasn't any kind of wishy-washy around.
Mom:No, I had the bar high, yeah, and as a supervisor and those that worked under me, I wouldn't have wanted to work for me because I had the bar high.
Me (Stacee):And you just said what you wanted.
Mom:But I didn't expect anyone to work any harder than I did.
Me (Stacee):How did you get so direct? Was it just because you had to get your point across in a man's world?
Mom:No, no, I think I was direct my whole life. I don't think you decide to be direct. I think some people are just more in connection with their view on things.
Me (Stacee):Interesting. Well, I think it's both a great quality and maybe my worst quality it can get you in a lot of trouble. Yeah, some people don't like it. Yeah, that's true. So you've been married to Dad for how many years? 57, nearly 58. Wow, that's crazy. What has been your most challenging time personally to date?
Mom:Personally to date, the hardest time of my life was when, I guess you kids were in your teens, trying to balance taking care of the home, taking care of a job, making sure you were parented, and at that time, as you remember, we were building a house and having a big garden because I thought I could can everything we could eat. And overextending myself was probably the hardest time for me physically trying to keep everything where I thought it should be. I put too much emphasis on things now I realize were of no importance, like who cared really if the house was completely clean.
Me (Stacee):I thought you were going to say a different time. What when your mom died?
Mom:Oh well, that was. The most heart-wrenching time of my life was when my mother died when I was a teenager. How old were you? I was barely 19. I had never considered that that could happen in my life. My father was 18 years older than her, so I just assumed that he would pass first, and I remember thinking I would always take care of my mother because I thought, well, he would die and I would always take care of her, and it never occurred to me that she could die at 51 years of age.
Mom:So you were like 19 and she was 51 and she died right in front of me yeah, she had gardening no, she had the phone rang and it was actually we weren't married and it was your father and we were talking on the phone and she was going mother was going to a sunday school meeting. So back in those days you couldn't disconnect the phone unless you hung it up. There wasn't like you could get another call going. So anyway, I was talking to your dad and she walked back in and I said mother, what are you doing back? And she just sat down and died right there, right there, and no signs, nothing. She just sat on the couch and passed away and daddy was there. So so I yelled and I for some reason I couldn't let go of the phone and your dad could hear me yelling for daddy and he knew something was wrong, but he couldn't call an ambulance because I couldn't.
Me (Stacee):I must tied up.
Mom:I realized I must've gone into shock, yeah. But so, uh, daddy was trying CPR and the whole time I just stood there. It was like a frozen in the moment thing. And so a small town as we lived in, your dad was there with your grandmother. They got there in five, six minutes and they called an ambulance and they got right there but she was gone. But the inability to absorb it was what was the hardest part. I guess that's shock what caused it.
Mom:It was a massive heart attack is what they said. Today they probably would have caught it and been able to do a stint, but at 51, she passed away. Her two brothers passed away at the same age as did her father. So it must have been some genetic thing, that's two years younger than me. That's young. I know they said that, but I didn't think she was younger. Yeah, then you don't. Yeah, but she was 51. So it was hard for a kid to lose their whole foundation and you were in the process of getting married, weren't you Right?
Mom:We had a wedding planned and there was a. I remember hanging on the bedroom in her room was this big formal white wedding dress, veil and all, and I couldn't do it, I couldn't go through with it. When she passed away, I just had a real simple home wedding.
Me (Stacee):Yeah, you didn't feel up to that.
Mom:No, she was more into the wedding than I.
Me (Stacee):Was the big formal wedding we were just let's just get it over with at that point. And how did you get through that? How did you cope or deal? Did you have special friends?
Mom:I had some close friends and I was marrying a man I loved. That was very kind and understanding and supportive and good to my father and he said I was torn with leaving Daddy alone. He said well, we'll just stay with him for a while, rather than us go to an apartment. Oh, did he move?
Me (Stacee):in there.
Mom:He moved in there so we didn't have to leave daddy. We wanted daddy to be settled and all. So we stayed there for six I think it was nine months before we moved out, because I just couldn't let him lose his wife and then his, his only child, moved out yeah after that and he was a very dependent man on my mother, as I was. I both of us were. She was the rock, so that must have been hard.
Mom:It was hard, harder than when I look back and I I remember the feeling and I something in you changes when you lose a parent once you go through something like that, does it sort of put all the other things you go through in life in perspective.
Me (Stacee):Like I know I survived that, so if I can survive that I can probably do this or that.
Mom:The hardest part after her death was when you were born, because I desperately wanted my mother then, and I don't know why, that was just when I felt like I needed her the most.
Me (Stacee):Now we're both getting teary-eyed Aw.
Mom:But she was a kind and loving mother and you know you haven't let me say, or I haven't said yet, that I am an adopted child, so it was a oh, tell that story.
Me (Stacee):That's such a good story. Which part of it? How you got your name?
Mom:Stormy. No, I don't like that name. My name is Jimmy Lynn, named after my father, Jim, but since they didn't know they were going to have a baby, like most people do, they got me when I was three days old and they had no name picked out and they couldn't agree on a name really, how did they even know?
Me (Stacee):you were like how did they know? How do people know they wanted a baby? They just based some people just basically walked up to their door.
Mom:No, no, my mother tells it that she prayed for a baby. She prayed and the lord heard her prayers and she said that she saw, knew so many people that didn't want a baby and would have a baby and she would think Lord, why can't I have a baby if they don't want a baby? So there was this woman, and I know the story now that she was having a baby, her eighth child when she was 27. She didn't want another baby and she wasn't with with her husband and she said her husband wasn't my father, but anyway, she lived next door to some friends of mother and daddy's and she said I don't want this baby. And their name was hopkins and they said her name was esther hopkins, the friend of mothers, and she said well, if you don't want her, I know somebody that does. So they called mother and daddy and they said sure.
Me (Stacee):This was in Roswell. This was in Albuquerque.
Mom:And so these friends of mother and daddy's basically arranged the adoption. So my birth mother had me left the hospital without signing the papers. But things were different in 1947, and they let mother and daddy take me home because they had a witness that said she wanted me to have them.
Mom:No legal papers no papers, no papers, nothing, and so mother and daddy took me home when I was three days old and they had no baby gear, no name planned or anything. So I guess it was three weeks and they still has named me. So my cousin said if you don't hurry up and name that kid, I'm going to call her Stormy Weather Because there was a big blizzard going on outside. It was in November and so my relatives still call me Stormy. They do.
Me (Stacee):Which.
Mom:I do not like Stormy, stormy, wow. But the adoption is a whole other. I think it's connected with overachievement. But the adoption is a whole other. I think it's connected with overachievement because you adopted children, have a need that other children don't have. It's a need of acceptance, maybe a need of achievement, and it does give you a desire for overachievement.
Me (Stacee):Yeah, and you never met your birth mother.
Mom:No, I met the birth relatives as you did.
Me (Stacee):Yes, which was weird, I had about 200 cousins. Well, we went to this reunion in Vegas maybe six or seven years ago.
Mom:For the aunt's birthday.
Me (Stacee):And when we walked in like we didn't know anybody, but they all acted like they knew us, because I think you and I looked like Emily, your birth mother, and it was weird. It was weird. Yeah, we were like you don't really look like anybody to us, but they were like oh my gosh.
Mom:Yeah, I know they were very welcoming, very loving, but I never felt the. I mean I care for them, but I never felt the bond they feel. Yeah, it was different that way. Yeah, you can't necessarily bring someone in the room and make them family.
Me (Stacee):No, the blood versus.
Mom:Nature versus nurture.
Me (Stacee):Yeah, that's what it is. Yeah, well, what? Well, thank you for sharing that, but what advice would you give to somebody that just lost a parent, like you did, because I think that is one of the hardest?
Mom:things. I hate to hear people say it gets easier with time. That's not really true. No, you're able to accept it more with time, but cherish the memories. Don't wait until they're dead to take the time to say the things you think now. And some people I mean, I don't really know how to answer that. I think that time does help, but time doesn't always heal.
Me (Stacee):And what would you say to a young woman out there that just adopted a baby?
Mom:What can they do for that child to make sure they Make sure the child knows that you can be born of the heart as well as the body. Make sure that the child knows that their love for that child has ever been as much as one that you birthed out of your body. Adoption is a beautiful thing because some people have love to give and no one to give it to.
Mom:Yeah like your mom, like my mother, and a funny story about that was I always thought that I was privileged to be adopted, the way that she explained it to me, and I felt sorry for my friends that weren't adopted because their parents. They just had to have them. But my mother wanted me enough that she prayed and prayed till I was a special present to her.
Me (Stacee):Oh, I like that.
Mom:It was the way I felt. I thought I was just chosen, the chosen, I was just really blessed. But when you don't think of yourself as adopted, I had a hysterectomy when I was, I guess, in my 30s and you think of it so differently. The doctor said did your mother have a hysterectomy? And I said yes, she had one before I was born. And the doctor looked at me like because you know, you don't. It doesn't make sense.
Me (Stacee):It doesn't make sense to him. But yeah, like the other day our friend Andy said he was going into town to have dinner with his son's father. I'm like what? What? Well, his he's the stepdad, oh, okay that does sound good.
Me (Stacee):But they both are the boy's dad because he's been in this kid's now you know, late 20s but he's been there since he was little, so I thought that was pretty cool. I said you get along with your wife's ex-husband. He goes yes, I do. We actually like each other. Isn't that interesting? You can have these kind of blended families.
Mom:Well, and another thing that, as an adopted child, I hate to hear when someone says you're real mother.
Me (Stacee):Yeah.
Mom:That's very painful and there's. It's never necessary to expose the adoption Like you don't have to say, refer to someone as the adopted child of, because that's not how a secure adopted child feels.
Me (Stacee):I always felt this way. Being a stepmother, like I have two stepboys, and I remember when I was a younger kid and my friends would say their parents would say this is my stepson or my stepdaughter. I always thought that's a very nice to call him that and not treat him like your own. But when I became a stepmother I didn't feel like I had the right to say these are my boys but you wanted them to.
Me (Stacee):I wanted him to be, but I didn't feel. I felt like I had to throw this disclaimer out there because they had a real mother, I guess, I don't know. That's for another episode. But it's always been hard to say. I heard someone recently call them bonus children. I thought, well, that's kind of nicer, bonus or blended.
Mom:That's good, but you can never have too many people to love you.
Me (Stacee):Yeah, never can. And what advice would you give to a working woman that is in a man's world like you were? I mean, you kind of had the early run of that life. I mean I think a lot of women still today work in a man's world, but not near as extreme as you did. Still today work in a man's world, but not near as extreme as you did. So what advice would you give to a woman that's maybe currently working in a man's world and they're just having a hard time? Should they quit and go? No, no.
Mom:Don't think about what you're not doing. Think about what you have done. Think about what you did to get you in that role. Don't think that they're doing anything better than you're doing or that you can done. Think about what you did to get you in that role. Don't think that they're doing anything better than you're doing or that you can do. They may be doing it differently, but have enough confidence in yourself of what you've done to get you into this role to be on the same playing field as a man.
Mom:Some industries, and there's many that are dominated by men. The railroad has always been. I recently saw a picture of a reunion of retired railroaders and there must have been 60 of my era and there was probably 60 people in the picture and 100% men. So that will tell you I think I showed you the picture there wasn't any women, but now there are. There are women in the men's roles, but you know, physically railroading not in management for a woman to do it, you have to be physically able to do things that a lot of women can't do, so there is a difference in that.
Me (Stacee):That management you can do.
Mom:That's true and I know. To become in, to enter the railroad industry, you have to be able to lift and carry a 72 pound knuckle.
Me (Stacee):I couldn't do that.
Mom:I couldn't do that, but some women can and they are now going into the same role as the men and becoming locomotive engineers, because a woman can be a locomotive engineer 100 as well as a man. But the first, the first female locomotive engineer is a friend of mine ever on the our railroad and she was on that show called what's my line and they didn't get it. She was a railroad engineer because she was the first one in history, really.
Me (Stacee):Wow, yeah, wow, anything's possible.
Me (Stacee):Yeah, in this episode Mom talks quite a bit about working in a world where there is no experience, there is no one to look to on how to do it, and I think she's really digging into confidence and imposter syndrome and how, if you think about it, that could have really paralyzed her and made her not want to move forward into administrative management for the railroad.
Me (Stacee):I mean, it was really trailblazing at that time and I hope you'll think about checking out the book Stop Acting Like a Girl, because I think here one of the things that's important to consider is that confidence shows up after you've faced what scares you not before, and that's on page 56. And I think when she talks about having to stand up for herself, especially to that male employee that was trying to ramrod her, she had to dig deep to find some confidence, which came from working hard, showing up and gradually over time, learning and believing in yourself that you can do this hard thing. So if you haven't had a chance to pick up a copy of the book Stop Acting Like a Girl, I hope you consider it, either for yourself or for a girl in your life that you know is up and coming and you can get it on Amazon. All right, we can't wait to see you for the next episode and thanks for tuning in.