Everyday Wonder Women

Episode 16: Surviving Black Bear Pass with Suzie Rhodes

• Stacee Santi Longfellow • Season 1 • Episode 16

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Suzie Rhodes survived what should have been a fatal accident when her Jeep went off Black Bear Pass, rolling 300 feet down the mountain. Her remarkable journey from paralysis to independence reveals what it truly means to rebuild your life from within.

• Suzie's accident left her with seven spine fractures, a dislocated hip, and a spinal cord injury, yet miraculously no head trauma
• After being told she would never walk again, Suzie now has an incomplete spinal cord injury and can walk with braces
• Her service dog Decker, who was lost for three days after the accident, now helps pull her wheelchair and provides emotional support
• Depression and grief followed for a year and a half as Suzie realized her old life had died on the mountain
• Today Suzie works as a school counselor, coaches volleyball, competes in archery, and lives independently
• Self-worth comes from within – not from external validation or maintaining a perfect image on social media
• Five practical ways to build self-worth: monitor negative self-talk, focus on what's working, connect with nature, surround yourself with supportive people, and curate your media consumption
• The key insight: "You have to choose to want your life to be good"

The podcast is taking an eight-week hiatus and will return with Season 2. Subscribe to be notified when new episodes are available.


Stacee:

Welcome to Everyday Wonder Women. I'm your host, Dr. Stacee Santi Longfellow. When I started this podcast, I had one guest in mind. From the beginning I wasn't sure how she would feel talking about her accident, but she said yes to my request and that is this week's episode. You are going to meet Suzie Rhodes.

Stacee:

She grew up just down the road from me. Her little brothers, Joey and Jakie, used to play with Saylor and our other neighbor, Dax from dusk to dawn. They would do funny things like ask to spend the weekend with no food or water so they could quote live off the land. They would drink out of the irrigation ditch and eat bugs. They usually caved around 8 pm and came in for a sandwich and a blanket.

Stacee:

As the big sister to Joey and Jakey, I watched Suzie grow up from being an amazing high school athlete to a young woman playing volleyball at the college level. Then, a few years ago, her Jeep went off the side of Black Bear Pass, just miles from where I live, and our whole community held its breath. She survived what no one thought was survivable and in the aftermath Suzie became a symbol of strength, hope and resilience. But most people only saw the headlines. They didn't see the recovery, the grief or what it really took to come back from something that changed everything. Today I sit down with Susie to hear the story. Most people haven't heard the full, unfiltered version of what she's been through, what she's learned and how she found her way forward. Come with me and meet Suzie.

Stacee:

What is your dog's name?

Suzie:

Decker.

Stacee:

Aw, how old is he?

Suzie:

He will be six this November.

Stacee:

Have you taught him some things to do to help you?

Suzie:

He definitely pulls the wheelchair by himself. He does. Yeah, I have a little leash and so if I tell him to go, he'll just Like you'll hook it on your wheelchair and he'll just pull it. Yeah, I was here for the Fourth of July and I came and watched the parade and he pulled me all down Maine. He did. Yeah, I didn't have to push my wheelchair at all.

Stacee:

He's like a sled dog.

Suzie:

Yeah, uh no, but he'll pick things up for me off the ground if I drop them and and then he knows when I have panic attacks or something.

Stacee:

Oh, they're so good at that.

Stacee:

I had this client a long time ago. She had this giant lab. It was huge and she had fibromyalgia. Have you ever heard of that?

Suzie:

Yeah,

Stacee:

and she would get bound up, she would lay there and he'd know exactly where to stand on her body, which I thought was so crazy. But she taught him how to do it.

Suzie:

That's cool. Decker's about the height of my wheelchair, so he's on the bigger side, but yeah, he just chills, aw, yeah.

Stacee:

Will you tell everyone your name and a little bit about yourself?

Suzie:

I'm Suzie Rhodes, I'm 28. Yeah, I'm 28 years old. I work as a school counselor in Colorado and, yeah, I'm just happy to be here.

Stacee:

What school are you working at?

Suzie:

I work for the Southern Ute Montessori Indian Academy, so I work with preschool all the way up through sixth grade.

Stacee:

So you graduated high school in Bayfield, and then you went to.

Suzie:

I went to a couple different places. I played volleyball in Wyoming and then Oklahoma and then I came back to Fort Lewis and finished out at Fort Lewis and then I did my master's at Adams State.

Stacee:

You love volleyball

Suzie:

yeah.

Stacee:

I remember watching you when you were on the high school team.

Stacee:

You were the star of the show.

Suzie:

I don't know if that's true. I remember I did. I played for about 12 years before finally hanging up my shoes, and then I coached for about eight or nine years. So I still volunteer over at the high school with the program. But yeah, volleyball will always have a nice little place in my heart,

Stacee:

So you went through a pretty big ordeal a few years ago

Suzie:

I did.

Suzie:

Yeah, I was involved in a jeeping accident just kind of right outside of Telluride. So if you've seen the switchbacks in Telluride, I rolled down that side of the mountain.

Stacee:

Was that Black Bear?

Suzie:

Yes, that's the one.

Stacee:

Yes, the infamous Black Bear Pass.

Suzie:

Yeah, now it's all cracked up to be yeah. So it was a kind of freak accident. I rolled about 300 feet down the side of the mountain before being ejected. My dog, Decker, was lost for three days before finally coming home I was left with seven fractures in my spine, a dislocated hip and a fractured rib and then, of course, a spinal cord injury, but other than that, nothing else. I didn't have any head trauma. I didn't have any upper arm trauma. It could have been a lot worse. Probably should have been a lot worse and just happy to be where I'm at today.

Stacee:

How in the heck, did you make it down that hill without hitting your head?

Suzie:

Oh, I think I hit my head. I think my hair was just too thick that nothing happened. It's one of God's many miracles, clearly. Not just surviving, but when people find out that I didn't have any head trauma I did a concussion test, I didn't have a concussion,

Stacee:

you didn't?

Suzie:

No. And so when people find out that part, it's very, very crazy. God had his hands on me that day.

Stacee:

And so take me back to what happened.

Suzie:

Me and my ex were up there for our one-year anniversary. It was a pass that he always wanted to take me on, and so I was like all right, and can't like go into detail, detail, but it was just a freak accident. No one really knows what happened. No one knows how the Jeep started to slide, but basically the Jeep went off the road and then I rolled, I rolled down, I got ejected, which I'm very, very grateful for.

Stacee:

You know you were ejected? were you that conscious to know?

Suzie:

oh yeah so I should probably yeah, so I remember everything started to finish so I got ejected out of the Jeep. EMS came up the mountain, got me off the mountain, I went to Telluride Hospital. They put my hip back into place. They of course made the phone call to my parents and then I was airlifted out of Telluride Hospital. I went to St Mary's in Grand Junction. A lot of tests MRIs, x-rays, all the things and then I had a really, really awesome nurse. She actually washed my hair that night. I was so grateful because I had dirt and sticks and blood and I was so grateful that she washed my hair that night. The accident happened on Saturday. I was supposed to do surgery on Sunday afternoon but the previous surgery went long, so my surgeon just said that I would go in on Monday morning and so went in on Monday morning and came out and then Decker was found on Tuesday,

Stacee:

something you can even remember being worried about?

Suzie:

Yeah, I was really worried about him and there were a ton of people in Telluride. They were like there's a black lab on the mountain. He won't come up to anyone. People saw him, Jeepers saw him.

Stacee:

Do you remember when you landed on the road after the accident? Were you looking up or down?

Suzie:

I was looking at the sky because I thought I was gonna get sunburned. It was a blue, it was very hot and it was a sunny blue sky day and I was like I'm definitely getting sunburned,

Stacee:

Did it seem like it went in slow motion or really fast, like one minute you're here the next minute you there?

Suzie:

Time kind of stood still, because I remember being upside down in a Jeep telling myself relax your body, you're gonna roll again. And then it was seconds after that that I was ejected. But yeah, it was like time just froze. I was ejected out of the back of the Jeep, so I was in the front and then something pushed me to the back of the jeep and I was ejected out of the back.

Stacee:

Did you have your seat belt on?

Suzie:

No,

Stacee:

Probably a good thing.

Suzie:

Yes, yeah, very, very grateful I did not have my seatbelt on.

Stacee:

So when you woke up and you're having all these tests done. I can't even imagine how that feels.

Suzie:

I was super nauseous, I threw up on myself and I was literally the rock bottom. I was got out of the MRI machine, I think, and I was like I'm going to throw up and I tried sitting up and I couldn't physically sit up and I think that was the biggest rock bottom for me, which I think just not realizing on the mountain, I knew I was paralyzed, that I wasn't walking because I had a weird sensation in my legs Something's definitely not right and I kind of was like, yeah, I'm paralyzed, I physically could not sit up and I was like this sucks. So yeah, that was kind of a big rock bottom. I was in the ICU for two and a half weeks and then I went to Craig hospital in Englewood, Colorado. Craig takes very good care of their patients. I had doctors meeting with me that day and then OT is coming in and my PT was immediately in the room, I think, the next day just stretching. They give you all the ins and outs of what being paralyzed or having a spinal cord injury is like and all the concerns that you need to be aware of, but they really just teach you how to live life again.

Stacee:

What are the different types of spinal cord injuries?

Suzie:

So you can be an incomplete or complete spinal cord injury. So a complete just means that you have no feeling or movement. Incomplete means you have feeling and movement, or just feeling, or I am listed as an incomplete. I can walk with braces, which is really helpful. I can even stand up in the bathroom using the grab bars.

Stacee:

You can?

Suzie:

Yeah

Stacee:

That is so impressive.

Suzie:

Oh my gosh, it's a lifesaver.

Stacee:

Such an accomplishment,

Suzie:

So when I first got hurt, I was listed as a complete. I got sensation back in my legs about a month after being hurt and then movement came about two months after being hurt. So I was really fortunate.

Suzie:

Not everyone is like that. I am a full-time wheelchair user. I get asked that a lot. People ask me oh, are you always going to be in a chair? And I'm like I mean, yeah, maybe I don't know. I do have movement and I use that, but I do use a chair as my primary mode of transportation because it's so much easier than walking and it's a pretty big deal. You can drive. I was fortunate that I did all my driving at Craig and they helped me get my hours in my doctor signed off on hand controls and then I just had to make the appointment to get hand controls put in.

Stacee:

What is that?

Suzie:

Hand controls connect the pedals and the brakes, so you just use your hand.

Stacee:

Use your hand to run the gas and brake.

Suzie:

Mm-hmm.

Stacee:

Any car can be outfitted with this, or did you have to get a special car?

Suzie:

No, that's the car I had before my accident and I'm actually looking at getting a Subaru Outback as my next vehicle.

Stacee:

I imagine that gives you a ton of freedom

Suzie:

Yes, my manual wheelchair gives me a lot of freedom, and then driving gives me a lot of freedom, but those are probably the two biggest ones that can really take you as independent as possible. I'm really fortunate I own my own home and so like I live by myself so I can live fully independent. Not everyone is as fortunate as that. Some people have to live at home until they can afford a place, or they live in apartments that aren't fully accessible. My house, my dad helped renovate for me, so it is fully accessible to me and I'm very fortunate for that. But yeah, I think those three are really big and taking back your independence after being hurt.

Stacee:

the hardest thing you've ever been through.

Suzie:

I mean. So the accident was really hard. And then I went through a pretty big depression phase for about a year and a half following the accident, so 21 through 22. And it was about halfway through 22 when I started getting the mental health I needed and started seeing a counselor. That was probably the hardest point.

Suzie:

I called one of my friends that I met at Craig. I called one of my friends that I met at Craig and I was like I don't know why this is so hard. And she was like "Suzie, you died on that mountain. I mean, physically I didn't die, but my old life was gone. And when I finally heard it that way, I was like, yeah, the life I thought I was going to be living now, I don't know, I was 23. That life, I mean yeah, it was gone in seconds and I had to rebuild what I wanted in my life and I had to find who I wanted to be. I had to figure out who I was, because I wasn't the same person.

Suzie:

I lost a lot of friends, wasn't the same person. I lost a lot of friends. My ex ended up breaking up with me. My family all stayed, which I'm really grateful for. Not everyone's family stays in the picture

Stacee:

Really?

Suzie:

A spinal cord injury. It affects everyone. I mean, it wasn't like I just had to learn how to live life. My whole family had to learn how to have a daughter, a sister in a wheelchair.

Stacee:

rock through all of this?

Suzie:

Oh, Um, definitely, my dad and my mom both of them have been my rocks at different points, so they kind of saw like the big physical breakdowns and the sadness that came with that. There was a point that my ex we got into a fight and he told me how negative and pessimistic I was to be around and it was bad for his mental health. And I remember calling my mom and just bawling and they're just there at very different points, but they're also so supportive of my goals and dreams and really pushing me to be fully independent and go after whatever I want. They've both been there through the sadness, through the anger, and my brothers have also really been there. I have really good friends just a handful of people but yeah, I think my parents and my family are probably the biggest support that I have.

Stacee:

life like now?

Suzie:

It's everything that I prayed for when I was in Craig. I had goals when I was there. I wanted to get my master's in counseling, which I did. I wanted to be fully independent, which I am. I wanted to get back to coaching volleyball, which I did, and a year ago I got into competitive archery and so I get to now be a competitive athlete at a whole different level and a whole different sport.

Suzie:

So my life is better than I could have ever pictured it when I was hurt better than I could have ever pictured it when I was hurt.

Suzie:

I had doctors and nurses and they were like your life will be so much more than you realize and I think I always knew I was going to get there. But yeah, they always tell you and that being in a wheelchair is never ideal for anyone, but it doesn't limit your life in any way. I do things differently and I don't think people understand that when people see my wheelchair, they're like oh, I'm so sorry and I'm like don't be, don't be sorry, because my life is incredible. I mean, I have an incredible job where I get to work with kids all day, which is what I wanted. I still do whatever I want. I have a really great life and I don't think people understand that even if you have a disability, your life can still be great. You just have to. You have to choose to want it to be good. You have to choose to work for what you want

Stacee:

That's so powerful. It sounds so basic, but it's so true,

Suzie:

A big misconception is like oh, I have a really good attitude all the time. I don't.

Stacee:

Well, what person does?

Suzie:

Sometimes I'm super, super mad. Sometimes I am really sad. I go through all the emotions just like everyone else. But I had two options. I mean I could choose to be depressed and be miserable and say poor me all the time, or to live life and make the most of it of it. I follow one wheelchair user who said I stopped asking God, why me? And I started asking why not me and I was like, yep. So when I was coming out of my depressive phase that's kind of what I remind myself of all the time I was like why not me? I mean, if anyone can do this, it's going to be me.

Suzie:

Nothing about my life has ever been super easy. I've had seasons of things going really well. I've had seasons of things that weren't really good. When I finally stopped feeling sorry for myself and deciding all right, what do you want in life? What do you want to come out of this? I slowly started to find myself.

Suzie:

It took years. I think I'm finally in a really healthy place where I feel confident in myself and who I am. But it's taken five years to get here since my accident. It's not an overnight kind of thing and so, plus, you're in your 20s and I always forget I'm in my 20s. You're still in your 20s, trying to figure life out generally. Yeah and well, and I've even talked to my good friend Brandy and I was like why I feel like everyone's life is just they're getting everything they want out of it. Why do I feel so lost? And she's like "Susie, your life paused, your life was put on hold, while you had to literally learn how to live again and now you can. That was also like a big thing. I literally had to learn how to live life, from going to the bathroom, getting dressed by myself, taking a shower by myself, driving.

Stacee:

It's like starting over from being a toddler

Suzie:

Yeah, basically I look at kids and they're learning how to walk. I had to do that at 23, just in a chair.

Stacee:

I know it's five years. It seems like a long time. In my opinion it appears to be. You're a very fast learner.

Suzie:

I think I'm just stubborn. Yeah, most people would probably tell you that probably like Susie's the most stubborn person I know. So if anyone was gonna do all this, it would be her it would be you.

Stacee:

What advice would you give to somebody that's going through something really difficult that they don't think they can handle right now?

Suzie:

We have a saying in my house we take it day by day, and when the day by day is too much, you take it hour by hour, and that's just how you kind of have to live life. Life isn't always going to be easy. It's super hard. There were moments in my life that I really had to just take it hour by hour. I didn't know what the next hour was going to bring and I didn't know what the next day was going to bring, and so I just knew that I had to make it one more hour, one more day, one more week, and then eventually your life does fall where it needs to be.

Suzie:

And I prayed a lot to God. I also screamed at God a lot. So my relationship with God has always been like a roller coaster. When I was in that depressive phase of my life, I probably screamed at God more than I talked nicely to him. But I also knew clearly he saved me. If you've seen the video, like you know, I shouldn't't. There was no way I should have came out that accident talk about that for a second.

Stacee:

Somebody has a video of your jeep going down the mountain, because they were coming up the mountain with the gopro right?.

Suzie:

Yeah, I was on their gopro dash cam and so, yeah,

Stacee:

It has millions of views, doesn't it?

Suzie:

If you look up my name, you can find pictures in the video. If you look up falling down black bear pass, you can see it.

Stacee:

What did you think the first time you saw that video?

Suzie:

Oh god, that was horrible. Um, a stranger, a stranger tagged me on Instagram and I was like, oh, I wonder who this is. So I pulled it up and I was like, what even is this? Why did I get tagged in it?

Stacee:

Were you in the hospital then?

Suzie:

Yep, it was like two days after my surgery and I saw that Jeep and my poor nurse. I set off every machine in my room. I straight panic tears, just set off every machine in my room. My nurse came in and was like what is going on? Obviously you could tell I was having a panic attack. So she finally calmed me down a little bit, but she had to sit with me for an hour and a half and just hold my hand.

Suzie:

Yeah, be like the next day that multiple strangers tagged me in it and eventually it would be a couple of days and the news outlets finally got ahold of it and they immediately called my family. We want to talk to Suzie. You want to talk to me? Like I don't even know what to say. I just got told I was never going to walk again. I don't know what you want me to say. I just got told I was never going to walk again. I don't know what you want me to say. Eventually, my parents ended up going on and talking about it and you can see Decker. Decker was finally home and there's a video that the news outlet shared of me playing with Decker outside the hospital. I don't even know what people want me to say. They just wanted a face to go with everything and they want. It was a, it was a story. I mean like um, but eventually it all passed. So I'm always open to sharing my story and talking. I just don't. I also don't feel like I have a whole lot to say.

Stacee:

I think that's the thing is, you do have so much to say and I like the part where you say it's not all great all the time. You're still having good days, bad days, angry days, sad days, I say good days and hard days.

Suzie:

Yeah, good days and hard days.

Stacee:

I think people forget that's a normal part of life, and stupid social media makes you think that your life should be so great all the time, every day, all day long that is not happening.

Suzie:

Social media, it's good and bad. I mean, it connects you with people who have similar beliefs and similar attitudes and that's great, but also it does give off that fake. Oh, I have it all together and I think really, when people see my social media, they're like oh, you handle everything so well. I'm like, ah no, I was really mean. Sometimes I would cry in my car almost every single day for like a year. But when I was out in public because of the publicity my accident got, I felt like I had to lie to everyone.

Suzie:

And it wasn't until I started working on myself, I started working on my mental health. I was like I am done lying, I'm done telling everyone, I'm great, I'm so grateful to be alive. Because the truth of the matter is that I wasn't grateful to be alive For a year and a half. I hated that I lived to be alive For a year and a half I hated that I lived. I had to deal with that. I had to mentally overcome well, I don't want to be alive, but I also have no choice but to be alive, you know.

Suzie:

And so social media, take it with a grain of salt. Don't post things to make it seem like your life is so happy all the time. And if you feel like you need to do that, maybe take a step back away from social media, because you're not being true.

Stacee:

So look at like why do I need that validation?

Suzie:

Yeah, what are you seeking within yourself that you feel the need to put on a smiling face all the time? If you can't be authentic with yourself, then take a step back and look at who you are inside and figure out what you need to validate your own feelings and your own self-worth. Before seeing it from other people, before speaking with some other people.

Stacee:

I recently heard this quote from Anne Lamott Self-worth is an inside job. I can't stop thinking about it. Everywhere I look, online, at work or in my own mirror, I see people trying to build their self-worth with things you can only see from the outside. Diamond studs, fancy job titles, curated Instagram feeds, designer bags with the tag still on. One of those people is me. Attaching your worth to labels and likes works for a minute and then it stops. Eventually, the new wears off, the filter glitches, the bag ends up with a coffee stain and hair ties and pennies stuffed in the pockets. The feeling you were chasing is still out of reach. Real self-worth, like the kind that actually holds up, turns out, comes from the inside. It's an inside job. Suzie gave us a master class in that inside job.

Stacee:

What stood out to me when I went back and edited our interview was how many times she said the words grateful and fortunate. 15. 15 times. I counted. She wasn't sugarcoating anything. She wasn't ignoring the pain. She wasn't dressing up hardship with a silver bow. She was saying the truth. This experience was brutal. It broke her and she is still glad she lived through it. That's real self-worth. Not Instagrammable, not catchy, but real. She talked about rock bottom, about prying in her car, about hating that she lived. And now she is not just functioning, she's choosing to want a good life. She said quote "you have to choose to want your life to be good. Unquote. It turns out that you get to decide that you choose whether your life is worth living. Well, if you're feeling stuck, if your confidence is shot, if your identity is built on things that don't hold up, there are ways forward, and I wrote down a few tips, and don't worry, it's not a gratitude journal or a crystal suggestion list. This is what I know to be helpful and real.

Stacee:

Number 1: Check the voice in your head. If you wouldn't say it to your best friend or a six-year-old or a stranger, then for heaven's sake don't say it to yourself. You're not being helpful when you tear yourself down. Talk to yourself like someone who wants you to make it. Be your cheerleader.

Stacee:

Number 2: Notice what is working. Susie didn't focus on everything she lost. She said things like I can stand using grab bars, I can drive, I own my own home. That is self-worth rooted in what remains. Notice what is working and say it out loud. Good job body, you're showing up. Good job brain. That was a decent idea. You just had Give credit where credit is due.

Stacee:

Number 3: Get outside without your air pods. You're not separate from nature. You are part of it. You might see a blooming flower, a fox in a culvert or a bird building a nest. There's a reason the world became obsessed watching Sunny and Gizmo sit in their nests for weeks at Lake Tahoe. Sometimes, fresh air is better than anything your phone can offer.

Stacee:

Number 4: Audit your people. You might be in a tough season with your partner. Your kids might be feral and moody. That may be something you cannot fix today, but you can balance the scale. Find spaces that fill you back up. Talk to a friend. Join a book club or a golf league. Listen to someone who makes you laugh. If your therapist is busy, try talking to chat GPT, my sister-in-law. I've been doing this lately and except for we don't call it chat GPT, we call him Chad, as in. "I'm going to have a session with Chad later tonight after the kids go to bed. It has actually helped.

Stacee:

Number 5: Unfollow people who make you feel like crap. Clean up your feed. Stop watching content curated by strangers with filters and lighting teams. Comparison poisons your own self-worth, and turn off the news for a while. Protect your energy.

Stacee:

Suzie probably should have died on that mountain, but she didn't. She came back with a story about survival and about living. Living means believing in yourself when life rewrites the plan. It means loving your body, even when it has been through war. It means letting go of what no longer serves you. It means surrounding yourself with people who see your light, even on your darkest days.

Stacee:

Suzie doesn't always have a good attitude. She still cries, she gets mad, she still has hard days, but underneath all of it, she has a solid foundation of self-worth, one she built from the inside, and that's the kind of woman I want to be when I grow up. The next time your confidence is circling the drain, skip the Amazon shopping cart. You don't need a new bag. You need to believe in who you are already. You are worthy, and not because you're perfect, because you're not, but because you are you. Suzie rebuilt her life from rock bottom, with a dog named Decker, with parents and family and friends who loved her, with a body held together by grit and with a heart that refused to quit. If she can do it, why not you?

Stacee:

Thanks so much for listening to today's episode of everyday wonder women. If you're enjoying the show, head over to wherever you're listening to this and you if you're on Apple iTunes or Spotify, you can leave us a rating and review. If you're listening straight from the Buzzsprout link, you can actually send us some fan mail right there on the link, and we'd love to hear from you. And as we end today, I want to take a minute to let you know that I am going to be taking a short hiatus. I've got some trips coming up. I'm going to Daytona Beach next week to speak at a veterinary ladies conference and then I've got a family member getting married in Seattle in July. So I hope it's okay with you guys out there. But I'm going to take a eight week pause break from the show and then we'll come back with season two. So I hope you'll subscribe to the show so you know when we come back. And, as always, I thank you for listening and thank you for being a part of Everyday Wonder Women.